Abandoned Victorian Style Greenhouse, Villa Maria, in northern Italy near Lake Como. Photo taken in 1985 by Friedhelm Thomas
One day, I will outgrow these feelings—bust through the seams of wanting you and break open the bottom of my desire. I know you are nothing like I imagine; your skin isn’t as soft and your mouth isn’t as delicate and your fingers aren’t as strong. Still, until you pass from my system—until I purge you from under my skin—I will fall asleep imagining your hands rising up my torso; the cup of your palms gripping my ribs; your index finger brushing the curve of my breasts as we drift off to sleep.
There are nights where I imagine your shape in the dark; you seem so light, like I could carry you with me for the rest of this life and never truly feel your weight. I know the truth though—I know that things that seem so weightless in the dark are often the heaviest thing in the light
One day, I’ll split open my heart and let you pour out of me, leaving behind a stain neither of us will remember the story behind—just a grease mark that, in the right light, you can’t even see.